For hire

So I was in Dollar General yesterday, buying some over-the-counter migraine meds. And the reason I was there was threefold: 1) there are only two other stores that sell medicine in the one-horse town in which I work and this was the closest, 2) I had run out of real migraine meds and had to jump through the insurance company's hoops to get more and hadn't had time yet, and 3) I had the beginnings of a nasty headache, the fourth in five days.
Long story short (too late, right?), this girl in front of me buying several items asks the cashier if the store is hiring. The cashier gets an application from under the counter and hands it over. The girl gives the application a cursory glance, asks "Do y'all drug test?" and my eyes roll towards Heaven. What's that adage about if you have to ask you can't afford it? I'm sensing something similar applying here.
You know, I have mad skills with peeing in a cup. I bet I could help her out on this one.