And a little later...

Dix: we want your thoughts on this
Dix: http://lionbrand.com/
Hez: on what?
DG: it is a piece of knitwear.
Hez: umm, besides that being terribly ugly the nightgown she has on underneath doesn't even match!
DG: lol, yes, what in the heck is that thing underneath the ugly ass knitwear?
Hez: it's like ugly shrug squared
Hez: yeah and you can see right though her legs, slut, didn't her mother learn her to wear a slip?
DG: hahahahaha
Dix: i noticed that too
Hez: the little clutch is cute though
DG: she weighs about the same as one breadstick.
DG: that's another reason the sweater looks like monkey arms on her.
DG: you could do those sleeves in fun fur, that would be incredibly fugly
Hez: it looks partly like a nun's habit
Hez: too weird
DG: hahaha
Hez: yeah it's just weird, like some character costume from he-man
(enter Steve)
hezalin: i know who she looks like, the shake guy from the OLD Burger King ads
Steve: The shrug is incredibly lame
Steve: However if she was just wearing the shrug it would work

Two out of two fibre floozies agree

Dix: but the shrug on the front page of the Lion site....egads
DG: lolol
Dix: i mean, give it a look and tell me honestly what you think
DG: shrugs are so rarely nice-looking.
Dix: you're so polite
DG: oh, please. another "i ran out of yarn" looking thing.
Dix: that's EXACTLY what i thought
DG: i hadn't looked at it when i said that ;-)
DG: excuse me, but that is God-awful
Dix: thank you
Dix: i swear, it looks unfinished
DG: lol
DG: don't drink and knit!
DG: blog it. ;-)
Dix: it could be a cute whole sweater, but that half-ass shrug is horrid
DG: i don't like the sleeves, they are hideous
Dix: what's up with the blue thing underneath?
DG: indeed
DG: she's got leg showing. that thing looks pretty short
DG: you could send it to You Knit What!?
Dix: LOL
DG: the sleeves look all jungly for some reason.
Dix: lol, define "jungly"
DG: like they are some kind of jungle motif. i don't know why.
DG: like monkey arms.
Dix: oh, ok....lol
DG: too long.
Dix: LMAO
DG: the unfinished sweater part does NOT help
Dix: i have tears in my eyes from laughing and angus is looking at me like i'm insane

Toys in the attic

From my childhood of the 70s. Pictures courtesy of the Internut.

	Alvin the Aardvark - I loved using his velcro tongue to pick up socks.
Skipper - She got taller, her waist thinned, and she grew breasts if you rotated her arm. Twist it in the other direction, she reverted to her flat-chested pre-teen identity.
	the Inchworm scooter - This thing was a hoot to get around on.

It's good that I don't work at the post office

Three days back at work have managed to undo any good I got out of Spring Break last week.
Let's see how many of the physical symptoms of stress I've chalked up in the last 72 hours.

• sleep disturbances - heck yeah. I've been awake since 4:30, 5:00 and 3:30 the past three mornings
• back, shoulder or neck pain - goes without saying
• tension or migraine headaches - ditto
• upset or acid stomach, cramps, heartburn - going through the Pepcid AC like it's candy
• muscle tension - duh
• fatigue - if you only knew
• high blood pressure - haven't checked the numbers, and am a little scared to do so
• asthma or shortness of breath - albuterol is my friend
  
• chest pain - oh yes. at 4 a.m. scary.
  
• skin problems (hives, eczema, psoriasis, tics, itching) - pass the Benadryl
• reproductive problems - without verging on TMI, random bleeding like a mo-fo
• immune system suppression: more colds, flu, infections - styes R us

What keeps me going? I have to work to pay for dog food.

Things that brightened the suck-fest that was Monday

1) I'm linked from Barn's blog!
2) Steve came up with a new name for the critters - the 4x4s.
3) Angus had a great first day "home alone" while I was at work.

Spring has sprung

Things could be worse

I could be the paper thin lizard found under the protective mat on the floor of my carport. He was an unintentional victim of vehicular homicide whose remains were rousted from their resting place by my mother's leaf blower yesterday.
Makes my stomach virus (again) seem pretty inconsequential.

What happens when I can't go to sleep

Which Johnny Rzeznik Guitar Are You?

You are Johnny's "Dizzy" guitar : Pretty in purple, you catch everyone's attention with your sparkle and flashy labels. You are popular and people are attracted to your "people-person" nature. But although you are stunning on the outside, remember that inner beauty is just as important!
Take this quiz!

Visions of Our Creator

This disciple of the FSM completely rocks.
I would not mind a ring or a bracelet. Hint hint.

R.E.M. = Nostradamus

Can we ask for anything more? SoaP *and* R.E.M. - my life is complete. Thanks to the LMGC for the link.

Car not included

	As seen in Chapel Hill: Evolve 1984 The Darwin fish Question Reality Peace is Patriotic Visualize Whirled Peas (always a fave) F**k Bush That long one about the government having a bake sale to raise money for weapons instead of schools having bake sales. You know the one. Others I can't read.
My question...where in the world is the FSM magnet?

Highland Black Angus

Angus is the new old addition to the crew. Angus, Maggie, and I (along with another dog, cat, and human) were "family" in Durham. His "daddy" has had overwhelming medical problems in the last year or so, and Angus has been cared for by his "grandparents." They've had some problems of their own, so it was decided that I should bring Angus home with me yesterday.
Angus's nails were so long that he was limping. He hasn't been thoroughly brushed in a while; it will take days of brushing to get him cleaned up. He also had some hind end issues (aka poopy butt) and needs updated vaccinations.
When Angus and I arrived home last night, I set to work on his nails. He has always been an anxious boy and never liked getting them worked on, so I gave him some "calming liquid" to help us both out. My wrestling hold worked, and I was able to make short work of his talons in no time. When his short legs hit the ground, I was rewarded with the biggest corgi smile. He could walk again! Angus got some brushing and cleaning of the hind end as well.
Then it was time to meet the Cerbs. Three noses were on him instantly. Maggie took the longest sniffs and I think she does remember him. They lived together for four years, so the familiarity should be there. We had much sniffing of rears and licking of ears, and the crew decided that Angus is an OK guy.
I think he's a little overwhelmed by the other three, as he's a pretty calm little fellow. Which would not hurt if it rubbed off on Cerberus. He's holding his own. Watch this space for more about Angus and the Cerbs (thanks for the name, godmother DG).

Happy Barkday!

Maggie is five years old today! Maggie was "my" first dog and a rescue. She has taught me a lot about dogs, myself, and life. Happy Barkday and high paws to the queen of shedding!

Hopping down the bunny trail

which happy bunny are you?

congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything. You must be so proud
Take this quiz!

Simple math

+

=    Hilarity

Cheap substitutes

Hearing Tim McGraw's cover of Ryan Adams' "When the Stars Go Blue" on the radio in the convenient store while paying for a bag of Gravy Train dog food. The Cerberi are on a strict diet of Iams Weight Control (like it helps), but I had a headache and couldn't muster the strength to go anywhere else.

The worst joke ever

(With apologies to Messrs. Buck, Stipe, and Mills)

Give me a minute and I'll tell you the setup for
the best movie ever. I never.
I'll tell you my version of the mo-fo story
Don't bore me.

Now I am flying,
They are released.
The snakes have been dropped,
Their tongues unleashed.
Everything is hissing, slithering and free.

How dose the test skills go

Not a typo on my part. One of my former first graders has been sending me email - here's one from the collection. She's a very special little girl with some challenging educational issues. However, she's got some advice for us all.

Dear Mssmith how are the test skills going for the children doing are they doing how was work today do you like your hair short and do you like your hair long or short kids in school do education so they can learn more to get good grades and thats what im doing do you know a web site about kids education because i want too... learn more about school in stead of the video games instead of doing school education and school is good and so is the home work works than happening to play on the computer and playing video games and watching televition and listening to music and going to hang out with your friends and go to a bar do your home work first before doing any thing else
WARNING
DO YOUR HOME WORK
BEFORE DOING SOMETHING ELSE LOVE M.

It's about time

Join me in welcoming the Head Beagle into the blogging world.

Snakes on PBS!

"No live animals were hurt in filming this story" - except for the poor rat the snake scarfed down right after this picture was taken. The rat tail hanging out of the snake's mouth made my 2 a.m. strawberry shortcake muffin snack especially appetizing.