Oh My Sweet Carolina

I'm home....finally. Didn't get to moblog as I wanted to during the trip because I don't think I had more than 10 minutes a day that I wasn't doing something. Will detail the trip later, but a good time was had by all. Except for not getting to the cemetery/voodoo tour I was looking forward to. Had to attend a completely boring panel discussion on Thursday morning, during which I text messaged friends and family and played pinball on my cell phone. That was when I had planned to go on the tour, but those plans had to be scrapped. Ah well, there's always the next time. Which I do hope will be soon, as there is lots more of NOLA for me to see and experience!

Bookworm

I've been a voracious reader during my bed rest this weekend. Read "Must Love Dogs" in one very restless night. Started "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" last night and finished it today. Almost halfway through "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" at this point. I still have the rest of the series to go, and haven't purchased the newest that came out last week, but I have a feeling I might. I didn't expect to enjoy the books as much as I have been, and am pleasantly surprised. If I can tear myself away from them, maybe I'll have something left to read on the plane to and from New Orleans.

Sunday's good deed

There's a new abused stuffed animal at the Asylum. It's Sly the Rattlesnake. I cured him this morning.

Nahh....more like this. Second try

You quietly lead the pack, just as Murmur itself
jumpstarted R.E.M.'s career with nothing short
of a mumble. Externally, you can act childish
every once in a while, but deep down you are
very secretive. You have a hard outer shell to
crack, and you keep most (if not all) of your
problems, thoughts, and beliefs within you.
Despite this, you are loved by everyone for
some reason or another, and your sense of
mystery is more of a benefit than a downfall.


What R.E.M. Album are you?
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You think?

Your sunny personality and laid-back attitude
relates to R.E.M.'s 12th album, Reveal. You
prefer to "watch and wait" rather
than take action to get something done.
Self-realization is important to you, and you
believe in taking time to find yourself while
reflecting on the past. Your soul is
atmospheric, yet as deep as the waters you love
to spend time by. You are so bright that other
may see you as a fake, but you can wave them
all off, because you know the truth and the
good will come on its own.


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Narcotics r us

Friday's post about relief was a bit premature. The leg pain kicked into high gear late that night and into this morning.
I woke up at 11:30, dizzy, disoriented, and nauseated. I got back to sleep about 12:30, but woke up at 2:30 and stayed up until 6:30 a.m. I tossed, turned, paced, whined, and whimpered. Caught a little sleep in bits and pieces until 8:30. The meds weren't working anymore, nor were the ice packs or the massage wand. The pain was crippling and I truly became desperate. I looked at all those bottles of narcotics and wondered for a few minutes - how many will it take so I don't hurt *any* more?
We headed to the ER. By the time we arrived, my legs were weak and trembling and I was shaking all over. Didn't have to wait long, thankfully. The intake nurse was great, and the PA who saw me was super as well.
I told him of the progression of the pain, all the tests and procedures I'd been through, including the cystoscopy with anesthesia on Monday, and the cysto on Friday sans anesthesia. I described the location of the pain, which had extended down past my knee, into my calf, and now, into my foot. He rolled his eyes when I related the urology nurse's prescription of Percocet and Tyenol on a rotating basis.
His diagnosis - when they gave me the spinal on Monday, they *nicked* a nerve in my lower back (where the nerves branch out into a "horse's tail") and irritated it, thus the pain. The medical term for my problem is lumbosacral syndrome (feel free to substitute my name for "dogs" when reading). Then he uttered the wonderful sentences that I will forever adore him for, "I have drugs. I can stop your pain."
He was almost right. I received two shots - one for pain and nausea, one for inflammation. One on each upper butt cheek. The shots sent me over the edge and I bawled like a baby, apologizing to the nurse through my tears. I didn't want to cry, but the pain of the injections was the proverbial last straw on this exhausted camel's back. The injection areas were sore for quite a while (still are 6 hours later). Within 15 minutes, a calm that I have not experienced in weeks came over my body. The PA expected the meds to knock me out, but they didn't. In fact, I still haven't done more than doze. Think I'm just too amped up.
The pain lingers as a dull ache, but the intense throbbing and shooting pains are gone. I'm doing my best to stay on bed rest today and tomorrow. Fingers and paws crossed, I'll be well enough to fly to New Orleans on Monday.

Cysto #3

Went to the urologist's for a follow-up visit and stent removal. This is what was stuck up inside me for the better part of the week.
Cysto #3 was done without anesthesia and wasn't *as* bad as the first go round (which left me in agony, balled up in the floor of my mother's mini-van, wailing and crying). There's no way I'd call it "pleasant" or "comfortable," though. BTW, *as* bad being the difference between having your whole hand cut off the first time, and then just 2 or 3 fingers the second. You get the idea.
When the stent was removed, it was the most bizarre feeling. Almost like being in an "Alien" movie with a creature gushing forth. Ewww.
While I was cleaning up and dressing, I walked over to the surgical table to sneak a peek at "my" stent. I couldn't believe that thing had been inside me. I touched it. I shuddered. Then I left.

HIPAA-whatamus?

Overheard in the urologist's waiting room....(although they were speaking so loudly, people outside could have heard, too)

Daughter: (reading form to her elderly father) Do you have a family history of cancer?
Old Man: Yeah, that stuff done killt evr'body in my family.
Daughter: Do you have problems with urine leakage?
Old Man: Nope.
Daughter: Do you have problems with urination?
Old Man: Nope.
Daughter: (pauses) I ain't reading you the next one. I don't want to know about it.
Old Man: (looks at daughter)
Daughter: Do you have problems with fertility?
Old Man: What's fertility?
Daughter: (leans over and whispers in Old Man's ear - remember, he's about 70 years old)
Old Man: Heck, I have a hard time just getting a piece of bread, much less....

Don't close Dorothea Dix yet

If not for this and my Dr. Scholl's massage wand, I would have gone crazy by now.
In the wee hours of Tuesday morning, intense pain in my thighs and back woke me up. Since that time, I've been fighting the pain, almost non-stop. The nurse from the urologist's office said it's probably because my legs were bent up and in the stirrups during the cystoscopy so long. It didn't seem like that long, but who knows. I certainly don't think it was long enough to cause pain for over 72 hours.
Until today, I had only slept a total of 12 hours since coming home Monday. The pain kept me up, and most of my awake time was spent pacing the floor, as it provided a little relief.
A brainstorm came in the early hours of Wednesday morning, and I pulled out the massage mat. It seemed to help, and I was able to get some rest. I used it throughout the day and my exhausted body finally got some relief. The massage wand has been great for deep muscular penetration, and I think it was the key to unlocking my thigh muscles.
When I get the timing right in my medicinal cocktails (Percocet and Zanaflex, with a little Advil or Tylenol on the side), I get a little peace. But the meds aren't lasting long enough, and the suffering comes back too soon. The pain is pushing my limits, almost worse than passing a kidney stone.
Do me one favor....if this keeps up, just make sure my rubber room is Carolina blue.

Recovery room

I had the cystoscopy and ureteroscopy this morning. My urologist found the offending kidney stone and extracted it. The pain I'm going through now is from the procedure itself and the stent that will stay in me until Friday.
I think the worst part was getting the IV. The nurse had a hard time finding a vein, since I'd had nothing to eat or drink for over 12 hours. Her first try on the back of my hand failed miserably and it felt like she was a Roto-Rooter employee digging around with the needle.
All the hospital personnel were very supportive throughout the entire procedure. Big props to my anesthesiologist. He talked me through the spinal injection and gently massaged the back of my head and neck during the ureteroscopy part. I could feel pressure and a little pain, and he was quick to give me more sedation.
A funny moment - as the OR staff was gathering and prepping me, waiting for my urologist, I thought I heard a familiar voice. "Is that Jason?" I asked, and sure enough, it was. He chuckled and said, "You again!"
OK...back to the couch for some more rest.

Waiting

That stone is still hanging around. If I don't pass it by tomorrow morning, I have to go to the hospital to have this done. I am not looking forward to it. But at least this time, they'll knock me out. I am wavering between going through with it and cancelling. Pros and cons on either side of the argument. Help.

He'll be appearing on Crank Yankers next week

The very patient LMGC sat with me online tonight as I tweaked and geeked with a web page for a family reunion. When I finished, I told him about the Weather Pixie I'd added to my blog today (lower left). And he asked "a Dixie Pixie?"
Online, no one can hear you accidentally snort when you laugh. :)

Saturday morning news

You are Schroeder!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
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Something to look forward to

I want to see this movie. It has John Cusack! It has dogs! It has Ryan Adams (on the soundtrack)! What more could a girl want?

TMI warning

Here's the ever-growing list of procedures/tests/etc. I've gone through since late January:

• Thyroid ultrasound


• CT with oral and intravenous contrast


• Transabdominal and transvaginal ultrasound


• IVP


• Catheterization (twice)


• Cystoscopy


• Root canal


• KUB and CT with no contrast

And this doesn't take into account my annual checkup, numerous visits to my regular doctor, urologist, and urgent care, several rounds of bloodwork, and too many urine samples to count.
If you were to look at the list of my current prescriptions from the pharmacy, you'd think I'd be headed for rehab soon. Daddy says (again, jokingly) that I should start selling so I can pay for all these procedures. Mama worries that I will end up a junkie. All I want is freedom from pain.

There's a little black spot on the sun today

This week has been a bitch. Don't know what I did in a previous life to deserve this karmic payback. Went through last weekend with a horrible toothache and earache that left me feeling like a lump. Had a root canal on Tuesday for the tooth and spent the rest of the day recuperating at my parents' house. Was awakened in the wee hours of Wednesday morning in excruciating pain. Had to crawl to my parents' bedroom door to get help. The pain lasted about 3 hours, and my handy dandy Darvocet didn't touch the pain. When I started passing blood, we decided an ER visit was in order, and of course, then, the pain went away. Managed to get a little rest and went to my urologist Wednesday morning. He sent me to the hospital for more x-rays and another CT. They know me on a first name basis over there now (hi Jason, nice x-ray tech guy!). What we've discovered is that I did pass a stone Wednesday morning, but it's still hanging around, waiting to leave my body. Plus I have several more small stones still in my kidney. I've got a strainer to catch the stone (ha) and I go back to the doctor tomorrow.
Tried to go to work this morning, but the pain kicked up again, and I just don't feel comfortable at all. Got halfway to work, turned around and came home. Yay for sick leave. Now I'm laid up in the bed, doped up on more narcotics, and trying to drink lots and lots of fluids to help flush these nasty stones out.
2005 has been a pretty rotten year so far, in terms of my health. After the last few days, I don't know how much more pain I can take. It wears on me physically, mentally, and emotionally. Daddy said (jokingly) that he'd take me out back with his Red Hawk, and I can't say that's not a bad idea right now. The chronic pain has me feeling helpless, lonely, and depressed. I know what's going on, and why I feel this way, but I feel powerless to fight it.

It's a teeny John Lennon head

On the leg (I think that's what you call it) of my glasses. It's not as colorful as the one pictured here, and doesn't say "Imagine" and "John Lennon," but it's certainly that little self-portrait. Of course, only my glasses and I know it's there, because the little drawing hides behind my ear when I'm wearing them.

Happy Independence Day!

Love,
Cerberus

To keep *You* from being Dooced

While cruising the Blogger FAQ and help section, I found this cool little thing:





It's the Web Fire Escape for those of you who are reading this when you are supposed to be working, or doing something else. If you see that little green rectangle on a blog (or other page), you can click and it will bring up a fake Word or Excel window so it looks like you're actually doing work! Not that I'm encouraging you to slack off and spend your time at work on the 'net....I'm just saying...

Random Update (again)

I have been very slack regarding my blog lately. Here's why:

I had this done last week, postponed from the prior week. It was absolutely the worst procedure I've ever had done in my life. Would not wish it on anyone. No anesthesia, no sedative, no nothing. Thank God/Allah/Buddha/Xenu for this stuff that eased so much of the intense pain. The doctor didn't tell me to take it; I just thought it might help and called their hotline to make sure. About two hours later, the relief came. If I ever have that procedure again, they are going to have to knock me out.

I started my new job Friday. So to speak. When I arrived at work, everything from the administrative offices was pulled out in the hallways so the new carpet could be put down. The county maintenance guys had "helped," and the furniture was scattered everywhere, with no rhyme or reason. There was very little I could do, except stand around and look pretty (ha). The carpet guys actually got all four offices completed, pulling up the old carpet and half the floor, and laying the new carpet, in one day. Yay for them. Tuesday will be the not-so-fun part of figuring out what furniture goes where and moving it back.

Last weekend, I went to see King Mackerel and the Blues are Running with the LMGC. We had a great time and really enjoyed the musical. Afterwards, we met Don Dixon. He chatted with us a bit, signed the LMGC's cd, and kissed my hand. He was very gracious and we raved the rest of the night.
On the silly side, prior to seeing King Mackerel, the LMGC and I went out to eat at El Zarape. The food and service were good. During the meal, I couldn't turn away from this huge painting that was on the wall behind the LMGC's head. I stared and stared until it hit me....it was a painting of the River Jordan! This was a large painting that had obviously come from some church's baptistry. The painting looks like a large landscape, rather non-descript, but for those of us who have spent many hours on a church bench, you recognize the subject matter. Funny #2...the LMGC picked the worst time to use the facilities. A show came on Telemundo and it opened with dancers of all variety (and I mean ALL) gyrating around, along with big-headed versions of world leaders. I recognized Tony Blair and Saddam Hussein. I have Googled my brains out trying to find a picture online. I was about to die laughing while watching the spectacle. A nearby diner was watching too, and we laughed together. His wife was using the facilities as well, and I told him that our respective companions were not going to believe us when we told them what we'd seen.

I think that about covers it. More later.